- Introduced by Molly Odintz
This week’s Crime Fiction Friday, “Elevator Pitch,” is a wicked gem from Matthew Hockey, just published as part of Out of the Gutter Magazine’s Flash Fiction Offensive series. Hockey twists the traditional elevator pitch to take on the concerns of the underworld. This story’s business proposition is rather more compelling than your average offer…
“Elevator Pitch” by Matthew J. Hockey
“My pitch? Sure. Why not? I’ve got a few minutes. Imagine the scene. Guy walks into a specialist pet store on third. He browses for a few minutes, just kinda walking around out of the rain. Owner said he could tell he wasn’t gonna buy anything but it’s good for business having somebody inside, brings other customers in. Suddenly this guy stops, drops his target shopping bag and stands stiff. He reaches into a cage. Scoops up a bird. Careful to keep its wings tucked against its body so it doesn’t hurt itself. Owner tells him ‘Hey, put that back. Bird is very sensitive.’ The guy’s not even listening. He’s all hunched over, cooing in the bird’s ear. Real low. Whispering. Nobody knows what he’s saying. Whatever it was it was between him and the bird. Then… chomp! Bites its head off. Cleaner than a carnival geek. Reaches into another cage. Chomp. Another head—”